I got to be honest with you.

When I was younger, I was terrified meeting people.

I was the introverted bookworm for much of my childhood and as a young adult.

I would prefer losing myself in a book, playing around on my computer or shooting pool by myself than going to a party or picnic.

And the idea of reaching out and introducing to myself to somebody.

Hell no!

Thank God I found hapkido and was introduced to a progressive system to overcome fear and worry, and to build any skill...

Fear and Worry:
Overcoming Ghosts of the Mind

Let’s talk about the biggest enemies of success: fear and worry.

They’re like ghosts haunting our minds, stopping us in our tracks.

But here’s the truth—they aren’t real.

They’re just shadows we give too much power to.

Think about how much time and energy you’ve wasted on things that never happened.

It’s time to put a stop to that.

The way forward is to lean into discomfort, embrace delayed gratification, and develop impulse control.

Don’t worry; we’re not asking you to jump off a cliff and fly.

You can start small and build your way up.

Let’s break it down.

Understand Fear and Worry

First, you need to understand what fear and worry are.

They’re just thoughts.

They only have the power you give them.

You’re not alone in feeling them.

Everyone does.

It’s how you handle them that makes the difference.

Successful people feel fear and worry too.

They just don’t let it stop them.

They face it head-on, one step at a time.

Start with Small Steps

Don’t try to tackle everything at once.

Start small.

Pick one thing that makes you uncomfortable.

It doesn’t have to be big.

Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting or trying a new skill.

Whatever it is, take that step.

Feel the discomfort and do it anyway.

Remember, even the greatest black belt started as a white belt.

They didn’t jump to advanced techniques overnight.

They took small steps, learning and growing along the way.

Build Consistency

Once you’ve taken that first step, make it a habit.

Leaning into discomfort isn’t a one-time thing.

It’s something you do every day.

Start with small challenges and gradually increase the difficulty.

It’s like lifting weights.

You don’t start with the heaviest weight.

You start small and build up over time.

The same goes for discomfort.

Keep pushing yourself a little more each day.

Embrace Delayed Gratification

In a world where everything is instant, learning to wait is a superpower.

Delayed gratification means resisting the temptation of immediate rewards for something better in the future.

It’s like saving money instead of spending it all now.

It’s tough, but it pays off big time.

Practice this by setting long-term goals and sticking to them.

When you’re tempted to take the easy way out, remind yourself of the bigger picture.

Develop Impulse Control

Impulse control is your ability to pause before you act.

It’s that moment of thinking before speaking or deciding.

This skill helps you make better choices and avoid regrets.

Practice it by pausing before making decisions, especially when you’re upset or stressed.

Ask yourself if what you’re about to do helps or hinders your goals.

Over time, you’ll make better decisions naturally.

Face Bigger Challenges

As you build confidence with small challenges, start taking on bigger ones.

Think of it as the brown belt watching the black belt?

They’re only a few steps away from their goal.

The same goes for you.

Each challenge you conquer prepares you for the next.

Don’t shy away from bigger discomforts.

Use your growing confidence to tackle them head-on.

How I Used Hapkido to Overcome My Introvert's Fear

​​In my first 6 months of training in hapkido, I saw a pattern in the kicking.

GM Han and his instructors were teaching us a progressive system, starting with simple "easy" things and then slowly adding a little bit more difficulty.

A consistent student could go from white to yellow to orange belt every 2-3 months.

In the image above, you can see as white belts we learned the basic front kick.

After that, as yellow belts we added side kick, learning to pivot on our support foot.

And then as orange belts, training for purple belt, we were then learning to do the roundhouse which in some ways was a combination of a front kick (striking with the ball of the foot) with the pivot of the side kick to create the arc and centripetal force that makes the roundhouse so powerful.

Create a Step-by-Step Process

1. Identify Your Fears and Worries: Write them down. What’s holding you back? What are you worried about? Seeing them on paper can make them less intimidating.
2. Choose a Small Challenge: Pick one fear or worry to tackle. Start small and specific. Maybe it’s making a phone call you’ve been putting off.
3. Take Action: Feel the fear and do it anyway. Take that first step, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.
4. Reflect and Adjust: After taking action, reflect on what happened. What did you learn? How did it feel? Use this reflection to adjust your approach.
5. Repeat and Increase Difficulty: Keep repeating the process with new challenges. Gradually increase the difficulty as you gain confidence.
6. Practice Delayed Gratification: Set long-term goals and work towards them. Resist the urge for immediate rewards.
7. Strengthen Impulse Control: Pause before acting. Think about your goals and make conscious choices.
8. Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small. Celebrate each step forward. It builds motivation and confidence.

Keep Moving Forward

Fear and worry may never completely disappear, but they’ll lose their power over you.

The things that stop you now will become insignificant with time and practice.

Remember, success isn’t about never feeling fear or worry.

It’s about facing them and moving forward anyway.

Don’t let fear and worry hold you back.

They’re just ghosts in your mind.

Lean into discomfort, embrace challenges, and take control of your life.

Start small, build consistency, and watch yourself grow.

You’ve got this.

Take that first step today, and keep moving forward.

The journey won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it.

Your future self will thank you.