Why So Many People Suffer in Life—and How You Can Break Free

Most people suffer through life not because they aren’t capable, intelligent, or deserving of success, but because they’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of being busy.

They wake up, go through their routine, go to work, come home exhausted, and repeat it all the next day.

There’s no pause, no reflection—just relentless motion.

You’ve probably heard the old saying:

That’s the problem.

People aren’t suffering because life is hard.

They’re suffering because they aren’t living—they’re just existing.

They’re caught in the grind, lost in the shuffle, and can’t see beyond the daily chaos long enough to ask themselves the simple yet life-changing question:

The Truth Behind My “Success”

I get asked a lot—on the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu mat, in the café, by friends, and even strangers—how I managed to create the life I live.

People see me retired in my 50s, traveling the world with my wife, training in martial arts, and wonder: “How did you do it?”

Here’s the truth that surprises most people:

• I barely graduated high school with a D+ average and have no college degree.
• I was a emotionally-stunted shy introvert afraid of most social interactions.
• I got rejected from the US Navy and Air Force for poor health.
• I worked 35 years in construction.
• My life was surrounded by bullies, idiots, and assholes.

That was my normal.

Nothing about my background screams easy success.

I didn’t have any silver spoon or handouts.

Life wasn’t handed to me on a plate, and I certainly wasn’t destined to win.

I got into construction because it was honest work, and I knew it could provide a decent quality of life.

But what I didn’t know was how deep into the “rat race” it would pull me.

The Rat Race Trap

Let’s be real—if you’ve worked 35 years in construction, you’re knee-deep in the grind.

You’re not working a cushy office job, nor are you sitting around in meetings debating “corporate strategy.”

You’re sweating in the sun, solving problems on the fly, and coming home dirty and sore.

That was my life for about 20 years.

Yet, somehow, I managed to retire early.

I found the time to train and earn a couple black belts in martial arts.

I’ve been happily married for over 24 years to a beautiful, supportive wife.

And today, I’m living the life I always dreamed of—financially free, healthy, and fulfilled.

But I didn’t win the rat race by just “keeping busy.”

In fact, I realized that being busy is often the enemy of success.

The Key Habit That Changed Everything

When people ask how I did it, they expect some secret formula or magic solution.

They expect me to talk about investments or some side hustle that turned into a jackpot.

But the truth is far simpler—and much more powerful than any quick fix or shortcut.

For over 30 years, every single Sunday, I took time to pause and reflect.

I journaled.

Every Sunday, without fail, I asked myself these three questions:

1. Where am I?
2. How did I get here?
3. Where do I want to go?

That’s it.

Three simple questions.

But these questions were my compass.

​They allowed me to step back from the noise of life, check my bearings, and course-correct.​

No matter how much life tried to derail my efforts, I had a method for staying on track.

Why Most People Are Suffering

The truth is, most people don’t do this.

They’re too caught up in the day-to-day hustle to step back and think.

They’re working hard, but not smart.

They’re grinding, but not growing.

And when I ask people, “Why aren’t you living the life of your dreams?” I hear the same answers over and over again:

• “I’m too busy.”
• “I don’t have time.”
• “I’ve got too much on my plate.”

But here’s what I ask in return:

It’s a tough pill to swallow.

Most people are so focused on keeping up with the daily grind that they forget to ask whether that grind is getting them anywhere they want to be.

They mistake movement for progress.

But just because you’re working hard doesn’t mean you’re heading in the right direction.​

The Danger of Excuses

Let’s talk about excuses.

Most of us are experts at making them, and I’ve heard them all:

• “I’m too old.”
• “It’s too late for me.”
• “I don’t have the money.”
• “I wasn’t born into the right circumstances.”

But here’s the harsh reality: You can either make progress, or you can make excuses.​

You can’t do both.

Look, I get it.

Life is hard.

I spent years in a blue-collar job, barely scraping by.

I’ve been there.

But I also knew that if I didn’t do something about it, no one else would.

Nobody was going to come along and hand me a better life.

If I wanted things to change, I had to change.

The Power of Course-Correction

So, I started that habit of weekly reflection.

And let me tell you—it wasn’t always pretty.

Sometimes, the answers to those three questions were hard to face.

I had to admit I was off track.

I had to confront the fact that I wasn’t putting in the work where it mattered.

But that’s the beauty of it.

Life will throw you off course.

You’ll make mistakes.

You’ll take wrong turns.

But as long as you have a system for course-correcting, you’ll always find your way back.

Think of it like this:

If you’re driving and you realize you’ve made a wrong turn, what do you do?

You don’t just keep driving aimlessly in the wrong direction.

You stop, reassess, and figure out how to get back on the right path.

That’s what my Sunday reflections did for me.

Building a Life You Love

The reason I’m able to live the life I love today isn’t because I was smarter, luckier, or better than anyone else.

It’s because I took the time to plan it, work toward it, and continually course-correct along the way.

You can do the same.

Ask yourself:

• Where am I? Are you where you want to be, or are you just moving without purpose?
• How did I get here? What choices, habits, and beliefs have brought you to this point? Are they serving you, or holding you back?
• Where do I want to go? What does the life of your dreams look like? And more importantly, what are you willing to do to get there?

These three questions can change your life if you ask them consistently.

It’s not a one-time exercise.

It’s a habit—a system for staying on track, no matter how often life tries to knock you down.

What’s Your Excuse?

I know you’re busy.

I know you’ve got a lot going on.

But let me tell you this:

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You don’t need to know every step of the journey.

You just need to know where you’re going and be willing to adjust course when things get off track.

Too many people are suffering in life because they’ve convinced themselves that the grind is all there is.

They’ve accepted that being “busy” is the same as being successful.

But I’m here to tell you: It’s not.

Success doesn’t come from grinding yourself into the ground.

It comes from stepping back, reflecting, and making intentional choices.

It comes from having the courage to stop, ask tough questions, and make the course corrections necessary to build the life you want.

The Ball Is In Your Court

I challenge you to take just one hour this Sunday.

Sit down, grab a journal, and ask yourself those three questions:

1. Where am I?
2. How did I get here?
3. Where do I want to go?

Be honest with yourself.

You might not like all the answers, and that’s okay.

The point isn’t to have it all figured out right away.

The point is to start thinking about your life, instead of just going through the motions.

If you do this consistently, I promise you’ll start to see changes.

You’ll stop feeling like a passenger in your own life and start taking the wheel.

You’ll stop surviving and start living.

Conclusion

People suffer in life not because they lack ability, opportunity, or even resources.

They suffer because they fail to take control of their lives.

They let the busyness of daily routines distract them from the bigger picture.

They fail to ask the right questions and make the necessary adjustments.

You don’t have to suffer.

You don’t have to be stuck.

You can take control of your life and build something that makes you proud.

It all starts with a simple habit: taking the time to reflect, adjust, and course-correct.

And it starts with you, right now.

Ask yourself: Where am I, and where do I want to go?

Once you do that, you’re already miles ahead of the person who never stopped to ask.