The Hardest Lesson I Ever Learned
(and How It Made Me a Success)

Listen up, warriors.

I'm here to talk about a time I got my butt kicked, not on the mat, but on a construction site.

Back in 2002, I was a hotshot electrician.

Ten years as a journeyman, sixteen years total in the business.

I knew my trade, respected by my coworkers and supervisors, the whole nine yards.

I was wrapping up a big project at a hospital in Torrance, California, when they offered me a transfer: the Getty Museum renovation in Malibu.

They cautioned me with a warning: "The foreman there can be tough."

"No sweat," I said, puffing out my chest a bit. "I've dealt with difficult people before."

Looking back, that was my first mistake.

Confidence is great, but arrogance blinds you.

So, I show up at the trailer, ready to meet the team.

The foreman, Rackstraw, a gruff big guy with a bushy mustache, lays down the law.

Most of it was the usual safety spiel, but one sentence stuck out like a sore thumb: "I want you here from the neck down."

Now, that's a phrase you don't hear often.

It basically means they want a robot – someone who just shows up, follows orders, and doesn't think for themselves.

My gut told me this wasn't good, but I kept my mouth shut.

That was mistake number two.

See, the way I work is different.

I take pride in my craft.

I follow directions, sure, but I also look for ways to improve things, ask questions, and contribute ideas.

I work "neck up," using my brain as much as my hands.

Three months later, that "neck down" comment came back to bite me.

I got laid off.

Shock, anger, then a pit of despair.

But then, something clicked.

Remember the onboarding talk?

The foreman was an insensitive jerk, but he was also honest.

He told me exactly what he needed from me, and I didn't deliver.

My fault, not his.

That's when it hit me.

My job wasn't just about wiring lights and plugs.

It was about making my boss's life easier.

This might sound simple, but it's a game-changer.

Once I understood that, every job became an opportunity.

And I turned every job into my dream job.

Here's how this lesson spilled over into every aspect of my life:

Building a Business

Thinking "neck up" became the foundation for my success as an entrepreneur.

When I started my coaching business, I focused on understanding my client's needs and exceeding their expectations.

Guess what?

They loved me.

In my first year, I landed two clients and made over $30,000, as a side hustle!

Stronger Relationships

This principle applies everywhere, not just work.

My wife and I have been through thick and thin, but this lesson helped us navigate the bumps.

It's about seeing things from her perspective, understanding her needs, and making her life easier.

Simple acts like taking care of chores or offering a listening ear go a long way.

Communication is Key

Remember that foreman's clear, but asinine, expectations?

Yeah, communication is vital in every relationship.

Now, I make sure to clearly communicate my needs and expectations in every interaction, whether it's with a client, a friend, and even my training partners on the mat.

Action Steps:
How to Make Life Easier for Others

Here's how you, warrior, can apply this lesson and build stronger relationships in all areas of your life:

• Take the Time to Listen: Pay attention to what people say, both verbally and nonverbally. Pick up on their cues and concerns.
• Ask Questions: Don't make assumptions. Actively seek to understand their needs and goals.
• Think Win-Win: Approach every interaction from a place of collaboration. Look for ways to create a positive outcome for everyone involved.
• Follow Through: Don't make empty promises. Be reliable and do what you say you'll do.

Life can throw you down to the floor, that's for sure.

But by approaching things with this "neck up" mentality – focusing on understanding and helping others – you'll build a network of support, navigate challenges with ease, and ultimately, find success and fulfillment in everything you do.

Remember, warrior, it's not about being the toughest, the smartest, or the most skilled.

Over the years, I've seen those guys be at the first of the layoff list because they, like me, hadn't learned about making their boss' job easier.

It's about being the one who makes life easier for the people around you.

That's the key to building a strong team, a thriving business, and a happy life.

Now get out there and start making a difference!