I remember when I was a kid, my cousin took me to see Jaws in a theater in Waikiki.

I was 9 years old, and I’ll never forget walking out of that theater, looking past Kalākaua Avenue into the vast ocean.

It wasn’t just water anymore; it was a mysterious, dangerous place, hiding threats below the surface.

In my young mind, the ocean had become a whole different world.

But one scene from the movie sticks with me the most now, decades later: Quint and Hooper, two men of the sea, comparing scars.

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As a kid, I found it funny.

They were showing off, talking about the pains they’d been through as if it was some kind of badge of honor.

I didn’t really get it back then—why would anyone brag about pain?

Now, almost 60 years old, with scars of my own, I understand.

That scene wasn’t about bragging.

It was about survival.

It was about showing that they had lived through things, survived, and came out the other side.

It was about being proud of the scars because those scars meant they had faced their fears and failures, and they were still standing.

That’s where most people go wrong—they don’t want to collect scars.

They don’t want to deal with failure or fear because they think it’s a sign of weakness.

But the truth is, those scars, those failures—that’s where the real strength lies.

Fear of Failure Stops You Before You Start

Most people never really understand failure.

In fact, most people avoid it at all costs.

We live in a world obsessed with success.

The highlight reels on social media, the endless parade of wins, promotions, and #blessed posts—it’s easy to believe that success is all that matters.

That failure is a sign that you don’t have what it takes.

It’s no wonder people are paralyzed by fear.

They think that if they fail, they’ll be exposed, humiliated, or judged.

So what do they do?

They avoid risk.

​They play small.​

They never truly try because not trying feels safer than the risk of failure.

And for those who do try and fail?

Many of them give up.

They see failure as the end of the road, the point where they’ve hit a wall, and their journey to success is over.

They never realize that failure is not a stop sign—it’s a stepping stone.

That’s why most people don’t succeed.

They think failure is the enemy.

They don’t realize that failure is the very thing that can make them bigger, better, and stronger.

Failure is Not What You Think It Is

Let’s be real for a second.

What are you so afraid of?

• Losing time?
• Losing money?
• Looking stupid?
• Letting other people down?

Here’s the kicker: failure isn’t as bad as you think.

The fear you’ve built up in your head is 10x worse than the reality.

Remember my story about Jaws?

As a kid, I left that theater terrified of the ocean.

But here’s the thing: the shark wasn’t real.

It was a Hollywood creation.

It wasn’t lurking in the waters off Waikiki, waiting for me.

But in my head, it might as well have been.

This is exactly what we do with failure.

We turn it into a monster—a shark circling, waiting to drag us under.

But the reality is, most failures are minor setbacks.

They don’t end your journey; they reveal where you need to adjust, where you need to grow.

I see this all the time in martial arts.

People walk into the dojo with their heads held high, only to get thrown to the mat over and over again.

Some never come back after their first failure.

But the ones who stick with it, who learn from every fall—they’re the ones who improve, who eventually master their craft.

They don’t let the sting of failure stop them.

They use it as feedback, as a way to sharpen their skills.

Failure isn’t the shark; it’s the water.

It’s the environment you have to learn to navigate if you want to survive and thrive.

Reframe Failure as Growth

So how do you get over this fear of failure?

How do you stop letting it block you from success?

The answer is simple: You reframe what failure means.

Instead of seeing failure as a threat, start seeing it as a tool.

It’s your greatest teacher, the fastest way to learn what works and what doesn’t.

The only way you’re going to improve is by putting yourself in situations where failure is possible—even likely.

Why?

Because it’s in those moments that you grow the most.

Think about it: When you succeed at something, you don’t stop and analyze what went right.

You don’t think, “What can I improve?”

You’re just happy it worked out.

But when you fail?

That’s when you really learn.

That’s when you figure out what doesn’t work, and more importantly, what will work next time.

Remember those scars from the Jaws scene?

Every one of those represented a moment when they faced failure, fear, and pain—but they lived to tell the tale.

It wasn’t the scar itself that mattered; it was what they learned from the experience.

And the more scars you collect, the more wisdom you carry with you.

How to Fail Like a Pro

You might be thinking, “Okay, I get it. Failure is important.

But how do I actually start using failure as a tool?”

Here’s the playbook:

1. Take the Shot – The first step is to put yourself out there. Try things. Get in the ring. Whether it’s starting a business, learning a new skill, or asking for a raise, the only way to get better is to take action. If you sit on the sidelines, paralyzed by the fear of what could go wrong, you’ll never make progress.
2. Expect to Fail – Here’s where most people mess up. They try something new, expecting it to go perfectly. And when it doesn’t, they’re crushed. Instead, walk into every new challenge expecting that things will go sideways. You’ll miss the mark. You’ll mess up. And that’s okay. That’s part of the process.
3. Analyze the Failure – After you fail, don’t just move on. Sit with it. Figure out what went wrong. Ask yourself the tough questions: What could I have done differently? What did I overlook? What assumptions did I make that weren’t true? This is where the growth happens—when you’re willing to look failure in the eye and dissect it.
4. Try Again (and Again) – The final step is to get back up and try again. The first failure teaches you what to avoid; the second failure teaches you what to refine. Each attempt moves you closer to mastery. It’s not about avoiding failure; it’s about iterating through it.

The Power of Embracing Failure

Look, the truth is, success isn’t about avoiding failure.

It’s about collecting it, learning from it, and using it to propel yourself forward.

Every failure is a lesson, a scar that you wear as a badge of honor, proof that you’re growing, evolving, and becoming stronger.

Most people don’t succeed because they never allow themselves to fail.

They live life like a cautious swimmer, dipping their toes in the water but never diving in.

They don’t realize that the water, the failure, is where the magic happens.

If you want to succeed—really succeed—you have to get comfortable with failure.

You have to seek it out, use it as a tool, and let it mold you into someone bigger, better, and badder than you ever imagined.

So, what’s it going to be?

Stay on the shore, afraid of what lurks below?

Or dive in, collect your scars, and become the person who thrives in the deep waters?

The choice is yours.